There are two kinds of people in this world

2 Comments 23 November 2009

Fearghal and Simon, Salar de Uyuni – Fearghal

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless boys and women and I am neither one.” -Greek saying

Beard’s are synonymous with adventure. Nothing says hard and rugged like a bristled chin. A few day’s growth says you’ve left the city, and its bourgeois concerns about daily shaving and other such civilised conventions behind. That you’re out doing manly things; triumphing over nature and beast like you’ve evolved to do.

Shackleton knew it, Darwin knew it, and Genghis Khan knew it (though his mongol gene’s didn’t make for the most impressive bush). Facial topiary is essential kit for a long arduous journey. The adventurers penchant for a full face is partly due to the undeniable heroic aesthetic of strained face covered in a tangled hedge – the iconic Hero Picture; pursed lips, worn weathered features eyes squinted against the wind/snow/dust just wouldn’t have the same effect with a clean cut naked chin.

Beards are also surprisingly practical when out in the wilds. Below, are six reasons that any adventure loving red blooded male shouldn’t leave home without that essential piece of kit-the venerable beard;


It saves money on suncream. Crossing the deserts of Western China we found our beards

invaluable for keeping the sun off our faces. Just don’t forget you still need to cover your nose or you’ll look like a baboon’s arse with your big red hooter peeping out of a tangled mass of hair.


After a few months’ growth you’ll start to look like a vagrant, add this to a few days riding in the same sweaty clothes and you quickly become someone that people cross the streets to avoid.

This is a very god look in places like Bolivia or Ecuador where security levels are not great.

3.By Allah’s Beard:

In Islamic states like Iran, freshly shorn chin is tantamount to blashphemy, so a beard is essential kit.


A nice long beard is great for bidding time when negotiating your way out of tough situations,

stroking your three inch goatee philosophically can be a handy way of covering up the fact that

you are scared shitless of the toothless agitated guy with the hand gun tucked into his belt..


As mentioned before, nothing says heroic endeavour than a picture of a bearded wethered face

This is even better if the beard is partially or fully frozen.

6. Wind Vein :
your beard grows past two or three inches lenght you can feel a tug on it in a cross wind, this can be an invaluable meteorological tool helping you predict advancing storms with accuracy

Whether you’ve a Craig David or a Ronnie Drew don’t leave home without that essential piece of kit- the beard.

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2 Comments so far

  1. Grannymar says:

    Now I must ask my Toyboys?


  1. Grannymar » Attention Toyboys! - November 24, 2009

    [...] hiding it the lazy option or the latest high fashion [...]

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